Babysitter Blues

{Babysitter blues}

by Natalie Achenbach

 

Babysitter………Kaity

Mom…….……….Brena

Phoebe……..Mattiya

 

Mom sits at an important business meeting on one side of the stage while a babysitter frantically tries to open an imaginary door on the other side. Little Phoebe is on the other side of the door playing with brush and makeup.

BABYSITTER

(Frantic) “Phoebe! You’ve been in there for 27 minutes! Come out of the bathroom NOW! Please?!”

PHOEBE

“No! I’m getting pretty.”

BABYSITTER

(Gets out phone nervously and pretends to call the mom, glancing at the door.)

MOM

(Motions that she needs a moment and answers the phone quietly.) “Yes, what is it?”

BABYSITTER

“Well, Phoebe locked herself in the bathroom. What do I do?”

MOM

(Sighs) “Just calm down. Google how to take a door off the hinges, we have screwdrivers in the top drawer. Anything else? No? Bye!” (Hangs up and nervously gets back to imaginary business meeting.)

BABYSITTER

“Don’t do anything Phoebe, I will be right back.” (Phoebe pretends to spray shaving cream in her mouth while babysitter looks at her phone and unscrews the door)

PHOEBE

“Whip cream! YUM!”

BABYSITTER

(Takes off door) “There. Now let’s go watch a nice little show…”

PHOEBE

“That blue whip cream from the bathroom made my tummy feel hot…” (Barfs all over the floor and on babysitter.)

BABYSITTER

“Eww! Blue whip cream? SHAVING CREAM! This never happened at the Petersons.” (Hurriedly calls mom as Phoebe clutches stomach)

MOM

(Asks for another minute and gets out phone) “What is it? This had better be important!”

BABYSITTER

“Excuse me, your kid just barfed all over me!” (Babysitter and Phoebe plug their noses)

MOM

“What? Is my new carpet- I mean is Phoebe okay?”

BABYSITTER

“Phoebe is doing better. I can’t say the same for your new carpet though. What do I do?!”

MOM

(Sighs) “Well, call poison patrol just in case, and change into some other clothes. Got it? Good, bye.” (hangs up)

BABYSITTER

(Comforts child for a second, then calls the mom again)

MOM

(Highly annoyed as she answers the phone) “WHAT IS IT NOW?! Can’t you tell I am BUSY?”

BABYSITTER

“Yeah, well, I think I’m going to need to raise my rates.”

 

 

Swag and the Battle for the Swingset

Swag and the battle for the swingset

by

Mattiya Moore

CAST
Paul:          Kaity Achenbach
Chelsea:      Ashley Barlow
Mario:          Caitlin Butcher
Tiffany:        Natalie Achenbach
Rosita:        Lucy Pipkin
Teacher:        Mira Wibel
SCENE BEGINS
At the school playground Paul, Chelsea, and Mario walk towards Rosita and tiffany who are talking by the swing set and the teacher is sitting on a chair in the corner
ROSITA
(sassily)What are you doing here? (put hands on hips)
TIFFANY
(Quickly put hands on hips) YEAH! w-what are YOU doing here?
Chelsea steps forward and places her left hand on her hip, and Mario and Paul cross their arms
CHELSEA
Paul, Mario, and I are gonna play on the swings
ROSITA
No your not
TIFFANY
No your not
PAUL
yeah we are
ROSITA
NO YOUR NOT!
TIFFANY
NO your NOT!
2.
PAUL
YES WE ARE
ROSITA
WE OWN THE SWINGS
CHELSEA
No you don’t i’ll ask the teacher! MISS TEACH-
Teacher looks up from reading book
MARIO
Don’t call her we’ll settle this the old fashioned way
PAUL
A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!
CHELSEA
NO A DANCE BATTLE!
ROSITA
Cue Music!
Rosita and Tiffany do the Macarena to the Dora the explorer theme song
CHELSEA
Ha! that all you got?
Chelsea and Paul tango
ROSITA
See? we get the swings since we’re better dancers (flicks hair)
TIFFANY
Yeah, ’cause we’re better dancers (flicks ponytail)
MARIO
NO, we’re better! And i can even break dance! Watch!
Mario attempts to break dance but fails miserbly
CHELSEA
SEE WE’RE BETTER DANCERS! HA-HA-HAHA-HA NANNY-NANNY-BOO-BOO!
PAUL
Cool it we gotta have SHAG!
3.
MARIO
it’s pernpounced WAG!
CHELSEA
Holy guacamole, it’s pernounced SWAG
PAUL
WHATEVER! SAME THING
Teacher sets down book and stands up
TEACHER
Come on children, its story time!
Everyone starts running off stage
ALL
YAY!!!! STORY TIME!!!!
Chelsea and Paul stop, Paul dips Chelsea, then they proceed to tango off stage
SCENE ENDS

Trapped

Trapped

By: Kaity

CAST

Harper………………………………………………………………………………..Natalie

Levi…………………………………………………………………………….Joey

Erwina Grimes………………………………………………………………………….Mattiya

           (Enters with Levi and Harper center stage. Levi appears to be eating something)

Harper: We are being held hostage and your eating? (clearly annoyed)

Levi: Well yeah, they never said the kitchen was off limits! (say line while eating)

Harper: How and the world can you be eating?

Levi: With my mouth. (says with smirk)

Harper: That’s NOT what I meant.

            (Levi and Harper look around as if they hear footsteps)

Harper: Quick! The ogre is coming! Hide!

            (Harper and Levi act if they are hiding by running downstage.)

Erwina: Guys! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREEVER YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            (chips crunch from Levi)

Harper: Shhhhhhhhh!!!!

Levi: Sorry

            (Erwina finds Levi and Harper)

Erwina: There you are! (smiling evilly)

Levi and Harper: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (running around stage)

( Erwina chases them around then stops center stage)

Erwina: I just wanted to eat you guys! (sadly, Walks off stage with head down.)

The Tale of Elvira Scum

The Tale of Elvira Scum

 

By Mira Wibel

Based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, “Clod Hans”

 

Cast:

 

Narrator (2)

Princess

Master Scribe

Scribe

Scribe’s Apprentice (2)

First Daughter

Second Daughter

Elvira Scum

Billy Goat

 

Narrator:

 

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a princess, who, although she had a vast kingdom, loyal subjects, and servants to fulfull her every desire, was lonely. One day, however, she called the Master Scribe, Scribe, and Scribe’s Apprentice to her, and beckoned them to write a proclamation.

 

Princess:

 

Let it be known throughout the kingdom that whichever of my subjects speaks to me the most wittily, be they merchant or milkmaid, duchess or stable hand, shall become my personal attendant, to entertain my highness. In fact, the chosen one will have the honor to lace my shoes each morning as well. Do you have that?

 

Master Scribe:

 

Word for word, your highness.

 

Scribe:

 

As he said.

 

Scribe’s Apprentice:

 

Indeed!

 

Narrator:

 

(Castle scene freezes, attention is drawn to cottage)

 

The proclamation was announced and many decided to try and win the favorable position. Among the candidates were the two daughters of a poor farmer. Both were so clever, that they could answer more questions than anyone cared to ask them.

 

(Two daughters exit cottage and pose).

 

The eldest knew the dictionary by heart, as well as the last three years of newspapers. The newspapers she could even recite backwards!

 

The second knew all the rules of etiquette, even ones the noblewomen didn’t know, and how to get others to discuss personal matters without them realizing they were giving away their secrets. She could also embroider garters – for she was considered artistic.

 

And so the two clever daughters set out to try and win the task of Princess’ personal attendant. But it wasn’t long before they were stopped by an all too familiar voice.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Oi! I say, where are you off to today?

 

First Daughter:

 

We are going to dazzle the Princess with our wit and charm and become her personal attendant.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Fish Feathers! I think I’ll come along too!

 

(Daughters laugh)

 

Narrator:

 

Now this was the third daughter of the poor farmer, who was known as Elvira Scum. I hadn’t mentioned her before because, as she wasn’t a clever scholar like the other two, no one thought much of her.

 

Second Daughter:

 

You can’t walk that far, so I suppose you had better stay here.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

I’ll take the billy goat. He’s mine, and I can ride him.

 

Narrator:

 

Elvira Scum got her billy goat and rode behind the two sisters, whose silence may have meant they were thinking of witty things to say to the Princess, but made them seem as if they were going to a funeral. Presently, Elvira Scum cried:

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Hallo? Hallo, look at this (Picks up crow and waves it at her sisters).

 

First Daughter:

 

Whatever are you going to do with a dead crow?

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Why, give it to the Princess of course!

 

Second Daughter:

 

How revolting!

 

Narrator:

 

The two sisters hurried to walk ahead of Elvira Scum, not wishing to be seen in her company. Presently, another cry caused them to turn around.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Good gracious me, what treasures there are to be found today! Aren’t I lucky (Holds shoe aloft).

 

First Daughter:

 

I suppose you’ll want to give that to the Princess as well!

 

Elvira Scum:

 

I will put my crow in it, and it will be a perfectly wonderful present.

 

Narrator:

 

The two sisters walked on, determined not to pay any more attention to Elvira Scum, but soon a scream of delight stopped them in their tracks.

 

(Elvira Scum screams in blood-curdling happiness).

 

First Daughter:

 

Whatever is it now?

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Mud! Oh my lucky stars, the fates certainly smile upon me today! Just look at this! (Begins stuffing mud into her pockets).

 

Second Daughter:

 

Mud? What’s so interesting about mud?

 

Elvira Scum:

 

(Stops putting mud into her pockets to shove an oozy handful under Second Daughter’s nose).

It’s the very best kind of mud! Squishy, damp, and oozes through your fingers. Oh how lucky I am!

 

Second Daughter: (to First Daughter)

 

Well, at least competition is narrowed down by one.

(Daughters snicker).

 

(Attention is drawn to castle. Princess sits fanning herself dejectedly, while Scribes do the same nearby).

 

Narrator:

 

When they reached the palace, the Elder Daughter was shown to the Princess first.

 

Scribe’s Apprentice opens door:

 

Welcome to the palace…

 

First Daughter:

 

(curtsies)

 

Whew…it’s very hot in here, Your Highness.

 

(Scribes write)

 

Princess:

 

My father is roasting geese today.

 

First Daughter:

 

Ah.

 

Narrator:

 

The elder daughter tried to think of something uncommonly witty to say, but the heat drove all sparks of inspiration from her brain.

 

Princess:

 

Boring. Next!

 

Narrator:

 

The second daughter was shown in next.

 

Scribe’s Apprentice:

 

Welcome to the palace.

 

Second Daughter:

 

(curtsies elaborately, straight out of an etiquette manual)

 

It is quite warm in here, My Lady.

 

Princess:

 

My father is raosting geese today.

(scribes write down everything said)

 

Second Daughter:

 

Oh.

 

Narrator:

 

The second daughter tried to think of something charming to tell the princess, but like her sister, her brain produced no ideas.

 

Princess:

 

Not amusing in the least. Out!

 

Narrator:

 

Finally, it was Elvira Scum’s turn. Into the throne room she rode on the billy goat.

 

Scribes Apprentice:

 

Welcome to the palace!

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Why thank ye kindly! I’ll say, it’s hot in here!

 

Princess:

 

My father is roasting geese today.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Swell! Maybe he could roast my crow while he’s at it! (holds dead crow under Princess’ nose)

 

All Scribes:

 

A crow!

 

Princess:

 

Gracious! But all our pots and pans are used up – do you have anything to cook it in?

 

Elvira Scum:

 

As a matter of fact, I found an old shoe on the way here. Perhaps we can use that.

 

All Scribes:

 

A shoe!

 

Princess:

 

(claps hands in delight)

 

Wonderful! We’ll need a suave to cook it in though – whatever shall we use?

 

Elvira Scum:

 

(pulls a glob of mud from her pocket)

 

Here’s just the thing! And I have plenty of it.

 

All Scribes:

 

Mud!

 

Princess:

 

How lovely!

 

Elvira Scum:

 

(watches scribes intently)

 

Are they really writing down everything I say?

 

Princess:

 

Indeed.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

What about this?

 

Scribe’s Apprentice:

 

Yes.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

This?

 

Scribe:

 

Yes.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Even this?

 

Master Scribe:

 

What? Speak up!

 

Scribe and Scribe’s Apprentice:

 

Yes!

 

Princess:

 

(Lowers voice)

 

Master Scribe is so pompous, but is nearly deaf. He never copies anything down right. He often bores me.

 

Elvira Scum:

 

Then he should be the first to get a taste of this! (Flings mud right into the Master Scribe’s face.)

 

(Princess, Elvira Scum, and Scribe’s Apprentice laugh hysterically).

 

Master Scribe:

 

What was that for?

 

Scribe:

 

The nerve!

 

Princess:

 

Dismiss the other applicants; Elvira Scum shall be my personal attendant!

 

Narrator:

 

And so, Elvira Scum began a happy life as a Princess’ attendant, and rose quite high in ranks of nobility. She was given a proposal of marriage from the King of Andorra, but she turned him down, being quite content to say witty things and lace the Princess’s shoes each morning. And Elvira Scum lived happily ever after.

 

(narrator begins to walk off stage)

 

Oh, one more thing – I read this in the newspaper, written by the Master Scribe – and we all know not everything he writes can be trusted. He’s nearly deaf, you know.

 

The End

 

Beast

Beast

By: Caitlin

One petal drops each day. If Belle can’t love me, we’ll never be human ever again. She’s so kind, so gentle. The way she took her father’s place, to be my prisoner. She’s even starting to trust me, teaching me how humans act. Ugh… Belle’s so beautiful and kind, I can’t stand it. I want to show her how much she means to me. All the workers are saying that I should show my feelings, what is inside. Oh, but I haven’t done that in years. I know, I’ll give her the best gift she has ever received. If the gift doesn’t make her fall for me, I don’t know what will. There it goes, the petal of the day. If she never loves me, I’ll be stuck in this dark castle forever.

The Crayon Box

The Crayon Box

By: Mattiya

       WHITE CRAYON

Hi I’m the white crayon. There are lot of us crayons here at the kindergarten classroom. every single night, after the janitor finishes up his cleaning and turns out the light, we come alive. He drives away in his orange Durango and the lights come back on. We all come crawling out of the boxes and start talking and playing and such. I sometimes wish I was like red, or blue, or gold. They’re the popular crayons. My friends are black, brown, and pink. We’re friends because we’re the outcasts. Pink is taunted because she’s not technically a color. She’s a shade. Black because she’s dark, like a shadow and is the color of nothing. Brown, because he’s just a jumble of random colors all mashed up and mixed. Me, because I’m nothing. I’m literally nothing. I don’t show up when the little children draw with me. There used to be more white crayons, but the little children broke them to pieces and threw them at each other, they even ate one. Their taunting never ends. Over and over and over again. It never ends. Never. At the end of the night when the sun starts to rise, and the janitor arrives in his bright orange Durango, we all crawl back into the box. Me? I’m at the bottom. I guess this is the just life of the lonely white crayon.

Ghosts

Ghosts

By: Kaity

Friends. That’s one thing I don’t have. Everybody thinks I’m weird, but my mom just says I have a big imagination. I see things other people can’t. I swear I’m not crazy. They are really there. I think they’re angels, but George (George of the jungle as I call him) says they are ghosts, and Leslie thinks they are angels. I agree with George, they kind of creep me out. I don’t know why I’m scared of them. I guess it’s natural to be afraid of ghosts if you see one, their white, see through body, and their dark eyes staring into my soul. Some of the ghosts are nice, they are either smiling at me because they are happy, or a mischievous smile, because they want to kill me in my sleep. I guess it’s okay I don’t have friends, but I like seeing what I see. I like having my own secret. The things I see can be my friends if no one else can.